From Israel Boycotts to Israel Understanding

“How could you abandon your principles and become a Zionist?”

I understand their disbelief and anger. I used to be one of them. They are not anti-Semites. Neither was I. It is just that I gained perspective over the last two years while they continue to see only what social media shows them.

I had always associated the words ‘stage fright’ with my sweaty palms and shaking legs before a concert. Will I hit that high note correctly? Will my runs be perfectly legato? Will I remember to breathe before I open my mouth to sing? I never realized that defending my dissertation would be an equally nerve wracking experience.

I needn’t have worried. It was a hot summer afternoon in New Delhi and as I carelessly threw around words like ‘genocide,’ ‘apartheid,’ and ‘illegal state,’ I saw the understanding nods of the audience and the knowing, sympathetic smiles of the examination panel. I had successfully proven that the deadly blood diamond trade of Central African Republic was the fault of Israel. And that it used the money it made from these conflict diamonds to fund its ethnic cleansing in Palestine. I railed against Israel and wondered out loud how it could treat the Palestinians this way when Jews themselves have suffered so much through history. It did not cross my mind that the businessmen involved in the conflict diamond trade do not represent the state of Israel. I also did not bother to mention that most if not all countries involved in the diamond trade were guilty and that they were collectively (including Israel) making an effort to combat the menace of conflict diamonds.

I singled out Israel as the source of the problem. And my conscience did not hurt. Ironically, I had submitted a term paper discussing the Holocaust in media from 1950 to 1960 only two days ago. In my paper, I had made references to Anne Frank, my childhood hero.

“And so, we must boycott the diamond trade and this settler-colonial country,” I ended my presentation in an impassioned plea. People clapped and congratulated me for being so honest and brave. I was told I would someday be in the same league as Judith Butler, Jasbir Puar, and Steven Salaita, that I would be a brilliant academic and an even better journalist.

That was two years ago. I am a journalist today. I don’t buy diamonds.

I also don’t boycott Israel.

Read More: The Forward